Making Flippy Floppy

Where were you, my pretties? So I played Open Mike night down at the good 'ol Lickin' Snatch last night and none of my home girls and boys showed up. What's up y'all? I even tried to bribe you with drinks! Unless you live in a far away place (that's about three of you), you're in trouble! Actually, there was a bit more of an audience than the week before, but the crowd was kind of a rough one: Tessa's little brother and all his rowdy jock friends. They came mostly to see Mark play, but they got my fey electro-pop as a bonus and I could tell it wasn't really their cup of Coors Light. They were polite and applauded, but all I got afterward was glares. Actually, my throat was sorta raw anyway, I was a bit lethargic and it wasn't my best performance so maybe I should be glad everyone who said they'd be there flaked out. So here's the deal: I'm taking next week off from it, but the week after that, on Monday April 9, I will definitely be there doing the Orange Television thing and since that's 2 days before my birthday, I think I'll make it an occasion, do invitations, basically force people to come watch me moan over synthesized beats and bloops. So mark your calendars, kids. The best thing would be for you to bring your own talent and get into it and perform something, eh? Hope to see you there. Again: My Birthday, Mik-n-Mac's, April 9, 7 PM. My London London Bridge Wanna Go Down Lately I've developed an odd fetish for Stacy London, the fabulously arch co-host of TLC's addictive "What Not to Wear." I admire her classic passive aggressiveness - she can be outright mean to her make-over victims, but she does it in such a way that they just smile and giggle. She's is ultra-sarcastic and rotten but somehow delightfully charming at the same time, a trait I've been perfecting all my life as well. She reminds me a bit of Samantha's naughty cousin Serena on Bewitched - when watching "What Not To Wear" sometimes I half expect her to sigh, roll her eyes, then wiggle her nose and a perfect new outfit would magically appear on the guest. Her chemistry with co-host Clinton Kelly adds to the distinct watchability of the program, together they make a merciless team, tearing through ugly-ass wardrobes like paper shredders and replacing them with tasteful, modern apparel. The most entertainingly vacuous TV available, and when they have one of their "What Not to Wear Marathons", you can count me out of society and find me on the couch eating Fritos, glassy-eyed. So I was thrilled this week when it was revealed that the powers that be at TLC gave Miss London her very own weekly prime time talk show called "Shut Up! It's Stacy London." If you've seen her in action, you'll know what a perfect name that is for her show ("OH! SHUT! UP!" is her typical excited response when she sees the guest in their made-over state for the first time.) The ads show her chatting and catting it up with huge megastars (not) like Lisa Rinna and Jane Krakowski, but I think as people catch on to her mega-coolness, she'll start getting some bigger names. The show debuts Friday 4/6 at 10PM. The Poor Old Frog Needs a Little Help My 17 year-old godson Nikolas is in town from Seattle, and yesterday he wanted to take me out to lunch at Senor Froggy's downtown. Seems he'd had a constant craving for the Frog for the entire five years since he's been there, and he was clamoring for a fix. He told me that he viewed Senor Froggy as a Coeur d'Alene institution along the lines of Hudson's Hamburgers, a do-not-miss place you must visit when in town. I've always been a big fan of the place up until about the last year or so. I think new owners must have taken the place over around that time, and the quality of the food and service started visibly slipping. Everything here was always very consistent and professional, but the last few times I've dined there have been less-than-remarkable. For instance, one Wednesday it occurred to me that it was "Taco Wednesday" where you get three hard or soft shell tacos for a reasonable price - it's a special the place has run every Wednesday since the beginning of time. So, I went in to order my three tacos and was told that they had canceled the special that day because there was a parade downtown earlier. Not seeing the logic right away, I questioned further and the girl rolled her eyes like I was taking away from her valuable doing nothing time and said "I dunno, just too busy I guess." I was stunned, still not quite sure what she meant, but went ahead and ordered a crisp meat burrito to go. When I got it home it was undercooked and nearly inedible. One time I went in and was way put off by the man behind the counter (who I think may be the owner) who was overly friendly to me, to the point of coming across as totally phony and patronizing, something I just can't stand. "Hey buddy! What can I get ya Big Guy? Alright, pal! Do you want sour cream with that, my friend?" Uh...don't fake like I'm your dearest companion just because I'm ordering your greasy food. And that's been another problem with the place lately. Yes, it was always greasy, but now it seems like everything is just dripping with hot translucent brown oil, from the taco meat to the mexi tots, even the chips seem greasy! Kudos to them, however, for keeping Raspberry New York Seltzer on tap all these years - I don't even think you can get it anywhere else at this point. Yesterday, Nikolas and I watched in amazement as a new hire (not even attractive) bumbled his way through our order. It was like he was looking at a cash register for the first time in his life. Meanwhile, his co-worker stood there behind the counter endlessly talking to a buddy on his cell phone about the wild party night he'd had and "Duuuuuude...I'm on, like, a half-hour of sleep..." We would order something and the new hire would frantically scan the register before saying "Kyle! Kyle! How do I put in a small mexi-tots?" and the other guy would come over acting all put out that his conversation was being interrupted. "(Sigh) Here, you just push "small", then "mexi tots." and then he'd go back to his phone. We'd order another thing. Frantic scan, then "Kyle! Kyle! How do put in a medium drink?" Repeat the process for the entire order. I wasn't sure who I wanted to throttle the most, Kyle or the nitwit behind the register. In fact, I was ready to tell him just move and ring up my own food - how hard could it be? Back in the glory days (10 years ago?) when this place was run like a tight ship by those triplet girls I went to high school with, this never would have happened! My food was deeply greasy as expected and I spent the rest of the evening with that blah feeling that comes from eating fast Mexican gut bombs. Nikolas wisely chose the vegetarian burrito and some tots, declaring it excellent and exactly how he remembered, saying what a sense of relief he felt after craving the Frog for so many years. I didn't want to rain on his parade, so I didn't mention the fact I thought the place was slowly sliding down the deep end of the service and quality spiral. The place even looks kinda ghetto lately, like they started remodeling the counter area and gave up, and they desperately need to replace the big sign outside which has been sitting mysteriously blank for several months - it's an eyesore. I hope the current owners get their act together or by the next time Nikolas comes to town for his Senor Froggy fix, the place will be gone, replaced by some trendy, upscale pan-Asian joint or something.

Labels: Birthday, Food, Mik-n-Mac's, OTV Live, Random Thoughts, Restaurant Reviews