3/07/2007

 

Sick Rice, Dead Ants and Hot Links

Lima Bean Tears Last night I remembered why I gave Dragon House restaurant on Appleway such a bitchy review last year. On my way home from work, I decided I was hungry specifically for some combination fried rice to go. Right now it's unclear why I chose not to go to Canton, where I know the combo fried rice is excellent. I was hungry and Dragon House happened to be sorta on my way home. After I ordered, I noticed the cook looked like he had just gotten out of state prison where he was booked on meth charges. Scurry. With no plastic gloves or a courtesy hand washing, he threw my meal together and before I even had a chance to sit down it was ready. Suspiciously quick. Still, I was starving and I got home, sat down, opened my take out box and remembered reason number one why I hate the place: frozen mixed vegetables. I've said it a thousand times: certain vegetables DO NOT belong in fried rice. Green onions? Certainly. Sprouts? Of course. Peas? You're pushing it, but maybe. Corn? Hell no. LIMA BEANS? Like, gag me with a chopstick. Now, Lima beans are fine on their own or whatever, but they do not belong in fried rice. It's just laziness to throw in a package of frozen mixed vegetables, like the kind they forced you to eat in 1st grade: little cubed carrots, peas, green beans, corn, lima beans. Ugh! This is the only Chinese place I've ever been to that does it. Also, the shrimp was undercooked to the point of being nearly raw. They were inedible, I had to pick them out (all 2 1/2 of them). The chicken was rubbery and along with the pork it was sliced into such tiny bits and so scarcely used that it was barely detectable. I had to pour on the soy sauce to even get any flavor at all out the situation. Ungodly bad. I felt icky and gross all night last night from eating it. For this I paid $9.50 plus tax? Never, ever again. Insecticide When I was really young, my dad taught me two songs. One was sung to the tune of the William Tell Overture (theme to "The Lone Ranger.") We sang it every time we went to the dump. It went "To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump" etc. The other song was sung whenever I stepped on ant. To the tune of the "Pink Panther" theme: "Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Aaaaaaannnnnnt." Lately there's a weird problem with ants at my workplace. They're big and they're black. Every now and then I see an actual live one do the cha-cha across my desk. However, the real problem lies with the dead ants. I come in the morning and there are ant parts all over my desk and floor. Somehow, they die in the rafters above and drop dramatically from the heights and smash into pieces below. It's truly disgusting and I'm getting tired of vacuuming up the little dead buggers every damn day. Let's hope this is just a seasonal crisis. Lox and Neufch√Ętel Cheese on a Blogroll The Blogroll - that long list of places on the right on the page - it used to be called "Tuna Casserole of Links." I kinda like that, why did I change it? Anyways, I'm going to spend a moment every now and then pointing out some highlights and must-visits: !!OMG Blog!! - Does just what it says - makes you say "Oh my God!" Whether it's a shocking video clip, or a nude celebrity sighting, or just random bits of overheard conversation, this site is updated very frequently and has a decidedly queer bent. Never a dull moment. 365 Days Project - I was obsessed with round one of this daily MP3 series in 2004, and the 2007 version takes advantage of advances in bandwidth technology by including full albums and lengthy recordings instead of just single cuts. The curators of 365 Days present an amazing variety of oddball recordings and thrift store finds. Some of these are pretty much unlistenable but curious nonetheless, and some are full-on classics like General Electric's 1976 corporate masterpiece "Got to Investigate Silicones." It sounds crazy, but it's actually a fantastic, well-written and masterfully performed musical about the many amazing qualities and advanced uses of silicone-based products. 365 days is a daily addiction, and like a visit to Goodwill, you just never know what you'll find. Bradley's Buzz - It would be remiss not to point you once again to my pal Bradley's blog which is always fun to visit with it's amazing and tales of a starstruck Wisconsin boy's fabulous life in West Hollywood, CA. Pop in and do leave a comment or two while you're there. CDA Library NetCam - OK, maybe it's not the most action-packed site on the net, but I do check in every now and then to see how things are progressing with the new library currently under construction downtown. As a longtime library geek, I'm just excited for the late-summer unveiling of the shiny new lakeside facility. I can't wait to relax with a book in one of the comfy chairs up on the 3rd floor with the killer view of the lake and downtown. At least I'm hoping that's going to be the scenario. Death Wears White Socks - I've harbored a longtime obsession with obscure new wave music from the approximate era 78-84. There's just something exciting and experimental about this period and genre of music to me. For years, I've been digging in deeper and deeper in attempts to uncover obscure sounds full of glamorous doom, fried hair moods, swooshy synths, and pretentious lyrics. There are a few sites that do these kind of post-punk MP3s but none go quite as deep as this one. They dig deep in the musty record bins so we don't have to. Engrish - I find unintentional humor to be some of the funniest stuff ever. From "Showgirls" to the original "Iron Chef" I like it when things that are supposed to be meant seriously come across as a joke. Engrish is a site that features pictures of signs, packaging, t-shirts etc from various parts of Asia that include hilariously mangled attempts at English. Especially in Japan, they think it's just cool to use English words on stuff and they haven't the foggiest idea what the actual meaning is. This site makes my brain tingle a bit. Okay, that should keep you entertained enough for now. More links later.

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Comments:
When I was reading DFO's comments today about foraging for food after his wife had been gone for about the third day, I was reminded of my request for you to investigate the grab and go opportunities around here. And, by the way, thanks for the review of your to go meal from the Dragon House. I'll never darken that place's doorway. Whoa.

But meanwhile back to my main subject. I think there are a lot of us that would appreciate your comments on the quick but semi healthful to go choices around here. Here's one I discovered recently. The espresso hut in the parking lot of the Sherman IGA. It's called the Lean Bean. It has good bagel sandwiches.

One thing we're severely challenged about is good to go chicken teriaki. Those kind of places are on every street corner in big cities but not here. Darn.

Keep up the good work Patrick.

fotoman
 
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