2/17/2007

 

Shave Britney Shave

A zombie-like Britney Spears was seen wandering last evening into a seedy LA hair salon where she proceeded to free herself once and for all from that nasty, overprocessed hair of hers. Literally, she grabbed the clippers and performed the procedure herself. She followed this up with a bit of new ink at a Tattoo place a few doors down. She was reportedly acting "not herself, dazed" and mumbling non-sequitors to papparazi. I woke up to this news on CNN quite early this morning. They yammered on for 15 minutes about it like it was breaking news, then proceeded to tsk tsk and summon a viewers poll to ask how unhealthy it is for us all to be so celebrity obsessed. I'm left pretty much speechless by Britney's surreal antics, so allow me to share a few of my fave priceless quotes from the always witty commenters at fark.com:
"At least the drapes match the carpet now." - StomachMonkey "If you cut your hair off, they can't use samples to track your drug use." - SuperCatBarf "I was listening to the radio today and they were talking about Britney. They said that apparently she's into the ladies, and even had a series of relationships with women while she was still married to K-Fed. Sad to think that it's very possible that she and that walking Sperm Bank Paris Hilton have 69ed together when they were seen hanging out. Now I really don't want to get anywhere near Britney, no telling what STD she licked off of Paris." - Great Janitor "I don't care about Britney at all, but I think the bald but not bic'd look is good for anyone. I employ it myself and love it." - Avocet "Eh, this roller coaster ride has crested. There normally aren't clearly definable moments where you could say a person visibly lost their grip on things. This would be one of those moments though. I feel kind of bad for her now. As annoying as I've found her to be in the past, it's no fun to watch a person self destruct. It's times like this where people should start wondering why family and friends weren't picking up on any indications that she might not have been happy with her life. -All Apologies "Hey - I'm one of those guys who goes into threads about celebrities and asks, "Who Cares?" But this? Holocaust Britney???" - Magic_minox "Much as I'd like to feel sympathy for her emotional downfall and all, who goes to a hair salon to shave their own head? Attention whore much?" - Binnster "Now she's ready for her lesbian coming-out album." - Photo Cindy "Funny. . . I was thinking she's just now starting to (finally) look attractive. The whole blonde Barbie doll thing doesn't work for me, and the trailer-trash look wasn't working either, but this bald, tattooed look? That's one step closer to fuckable. Of course, my tastes tend toward the androgynous, so I can see why all the straight boys are bemoaning Britney's acceptance of her bisexual nature. Next up: Expect her to hit the town with a female lover." -Holly_Wight "Who wants first shift on suicide watch? Soooo, has Britney done anything over the past few years other than: 1) Marry a dumbass hick 2) Pop out two unfortunate kids 3) Drive with said kid in her lap 4) Flash her labia to the world 5) Get nasty looking 6) Get even more nasty looking 7) Enter and exit rehab on the same day 8) Shave her head For god's sake woman, either make some frickin' music or kill yourself! Why is she a celebrity again?" -DarkFriend "She's gonna end up like Edie Beale in Grey Gardens." - Captain Fatass "Remember before Britney got all ruined?... She made news for cursing... She was giving awkward HJ's to Justin Timerlake.. Then she let Fred Durst do terrible things to her ass and next thing you know she is living in dog years." - dougiezerosag

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Comments:
I'm still optimistic that Britney can rally back and triumph over this downward slide in her life. I root for her. Aren't you a root for Britney guy, too?
 
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