Making Flippy Floppy

Oh my, where did the last week go? What was I doing when I should have been blogging? Geology, Dirty martinis, Insaniquarium Deluxe. Nothing, really. Just not a lot to yammer about, I guess. So I'll just come up with some random stuff: Weekly Local Terror Just got the good word that you will be seeing my big face every week in the Spokesman-Review newspaper. I'll be writing a column for the Idaho Extra section that comes out on Saturdays - restaurant and nightlife reviews and previews, that kind of thing. Hopefully, I won't get bludgeoned by angry restaurant owners along the way. Best part is, they're actually paying me to do it, so now I don't have go to the poorhouse when my school money dries up. So beware, North Idaho, I'll be coming to your businesses and lurking in the shadows, testing your cuisine, critiquing your martinis, berating your staff. Coming (Sorta) Soon: Local Restaurant/Nightclub guide I had a good idea recently about starting an offshoot website of Making Flippy Floppy that would be like a categorized list of all area restaurants, food spots, clubs, bars, hangouts where people can leave comments and write short reviews of places. I'll post all my reviews to date to get things started. Admittedly, I stole this idea directly from Jennifer, who runs the fantastic food blog "Taste Everything Once" out of Spokane. However, my site would be focused on Cd'A-PF-Hayden only and would be set up quite a bit differently. This site would be a nice reference for locals and tourists alike and maybe if it takes off I might be able to sell and ad or two on there. I've got 17 things on the burner at the moment so what difference will another new project make? If anyone reading this has any ideas or suggestions I'd love to hear them... Motherucking ilthy Keyboard It all started when the 'f' key on my keyboard quit coughing up 'f's when struck. Carefully I pried the plastic key top up and off its little white hinge. To my sheer horror I saw under there a jungle of cat hair, food crumbs, eyelashes, lint - basically enough material to nest and feed a mouse for the better part of a fortnight. I blew in there and pulled out as much gunk as I could get unstuck and thankfully, 'f' is back in action but it left me with a queasy need to pry all the keys off my keyboard and go for it. I'm kind of new to the laptop thing - is that the best way to do it? I used to just toss my dirty old keyboards and buy a new one at Big Lots for $6. Is there a place I can take it to be cleaned? If so, do I really want a total stranger finding who-knows-what under there? What unfortunate details about my life would be revealed that way? Anna Nicole (Probably Will Never) Rest In Peace This whole Anna Nicole thing is getting more and more surreal by the minute. My mother has been rapt in front of the television set and ringing my phone off the hook every time another gory detail emerges - the collapse, the body being removed, the vomit choke, the inconclusive autopsy. She just called again now to fill me in about the latest bizarre twist - Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband Prince What's-His-Name is now claiming to be the father of Anna Nicole's poor (but one day VERY rich) 5 month old daughter. How many fathers can one child have? Also, Anna Nicole's character in "The Hudsucker Proxy" was named "Za-Za". Eerie coincidence? I wasn't terribly shocked at the news of her death - I was kind of expecting it. In recent interviews following the death of her son, it was clear that her flame was already pretty much extinguished. A dullness in the eyes, sadness around the edges of her mouth. Long gone was the buxom Playboy princess, the fun zoftig airhead whose addictively pointless reality show had us all caught up for a few months. To me, she was never the same after she started popping the TrimSpa. One of my mother's many Anna-Nicole related juicy theories from the last 24 hours is that she never lost a pound from the TrimSpa, rather she shrunk herself away due to a Methadone addiction. Makes sense to me. Some people were just meant to die young in tragic fashion so we can forever preserve them as young and beautiful - Marilyn Monroe, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, so many more, all crushed under the cruel weight of their own fame. True Colors - Beautiful Like A Rainbow I just found out this morning about the upcoming "True Colors" tour that starts in Seattle in early summer. It features the campiest line-up possibly ever: Debbie Harry, Cyndi Lauper, Erasure, Margaret Cho, The Gossip, The Dresden Dolls and more acts to be revealed soon. The tour will benefit the Human Rights Campaign, PFLAG, and other gay-friendly groups. Other than my Erasure newsletter, the only place that has any info about it is on Wikipedia, so it must be very new news. Count me in - I've been itching to hit Seattle for a concert and hopefully it will happen right around graduation time, I think I'll buy a ticket as a graduation present to myself. Yay! So Fresh And So Clean Clean I'm a little boring when it comes to new trends in personal care products. I'm okay with whatever brand of shampoo is cheap and smells okay. Conditioner? Maybe, but I have odd hair and it's impossible to tame when overconditioned. Up until recently, a peek into my shower would reveal green bars of original Irish Spring. One impulse Big Lots shopping spree later and I have two new fantastic products to carry on about. I've always loved the collective work of the brilliant Swiss innovators over at St. Ives - the apricot facial scrub has always been one of my few concessions to fussiness. St. Ives Renewing Aroma Steam Body Wash is a silky bluish-green gel that creates a sort-of sweet menthol steamy vibe and yes, a feeling of renewal abounds. However, like heroin, you can try again and again but it's never going to be as great as the first time. The stuff is pretty good, but not quite as vivacious as the mysterious conditioner I purchased that night. I don't have the bottle in front of me at the moment, but I've looked the thing over and over for an actual brand name and there isn't one. It just says something about "Organic mint deep hair treatment" and when you rub some of this light green goo into your hair, look out! It's wow wow wow wow wow! An intense minty tingle takes over not only hair and scalp but sinks deep, deep in, seeping directly in to the brain's pleasure center. It's quite a powerful experience and wakes me up in the morning way better than a chai latte. Even after toweling off, the pleasant feeling lingers for a good 15-20 minutes, like the afterglow of a really great orgasm. Highly recommended.

Labels: Product Reviews, Random Thoughts, Spokesman-Review, True Colors Tour