Making Flippy Floppy

I'm really not much of a fast food eater. In fact, pretty much the only thing I can handle in that fetid genre of foodstuffs is the McDonald's breakfast. Specifically, a sausage egg and cheese McGriddle sandwich, a berries and yogurt parfait, an oatmeal cookie, and an extra large lemonade. This is what I get on my way to work usually two, sometimes three days a week, and oddly the total for this combo plus tax is always $6.66. I'm always pleased with the fast and accurate service - pretty much the same high standard at every McDonald's in the world, as far as I can tell. Whenever I try a different drive-through I am stunned by how long it takes to get through. McDonald's is always terrifically swift. My particular McDonald's is the one here in CDA on Appleway. Years ago, they had a little log cabin out front and despite the fact it smelled rather like piss, I celebrated at least one childhood birthday there - I must have been about 4 or 5. I remember The Man himself, Ronald McDonald showed up and must have been at least 7 feet tall - he had to constantly lean down in that little birthday cabin to keep from bonking his head. We played rousing games of stack-the-styrofoam-Big-Mac-boxes and pin-the-tail-on-Grimace, and I remember my puke-breath friend Diana winning both, causing me to lose it and cry at my party like Leslie Gore. A few years ago I went to an after-bar party at a friend's house they had just moved into and during the tour she mentioned that the walls in the basement room were made of the old McDonalds kiddie cabin. The old owners of the house had bought the cabin at auction and used the logs to decorate - everyone screamed with disbelief and delight since everyone else had spent at least one childhood birthday in there. Wild. So, today I pulled into the McD's drive through to get my breakfast fix, almost running late for work as usual. My bronchitis from earlier this week has turned to laryngitis so I can't blame Natasha for entering in my order wrong - it was hard to rasp loud enough for her to hear. She told me just to pull up and we would figure it out. She fiddled with the register and told me she had to do something tricky to fix my order in the system and told me to make sure and double check that I got the right stuff at the next window. It may be a little sad that I know the McDonald's drive-thru girl on a first name basis, but Natasha is my homegirl, and she's working everytime I go through there. I pulled up to the next window and the kid (new?) says "two burritos and an orange juice - thank you" as he hands me the bag and goes to immediately shut the window. I said "Um...no. It's a sausage egg and cheese McGriddle sandwich, a berries and yogurt parfait, an oatmeal cookie,and an extra large lemonade." So he asked me to pull over into one of the parking spots to the right that they make you wait in if they mess up and order or if you order too much stuff. So I said "Oh, no. That's alright, I'll just wait here." and the kid looked at me like I just kicked his little puppy. "Uh...okay." he said nervously, wide-eyed. He closed the window and turned to tell his supervisor that I refused to park, and I chuckled and smiled back as the supervisor gave me a death glare. Normally, I wouldn't be so snotty and would have pulled over but I just knew that if I sat there holding up the line they would be forced to get their shit together pronto and get my order out now! If I'd pulled over and parked, who knows how long I would have been waiting with my order on the proverbial back burner. Sure enough, they scrambled together my order in about 10 seconds and the fool handed me an extra orange juice to boot! I had the poor kid so shaken up, his world was upside down. Ah well, at least I'll have something to tell Natasha about next time I go through...

Labels: Restaurant Reviews