Making Flippy Floppy

Yesterday morning, I woke up with an excruciating muscle spasm in my lower back. The pain was so hardcore it was hard to even breathe and it took me nearly half an hour just to get out of bed and throw on enough clothes to appear decent in public. Thankfully, they were quick and efficient at the Immediate Care clinic, and I hobbled out the door with a prescription in hand. I was shooting for some Hydrocodones but the good doc had set me up with Cyclobenzaprine (aka Flexaril). I hadn't heard of them, but when the friendly ShopKo pharmacist had to pull me aside and tell me to "be careful of those babies" I knew I would be having a great afternoon.

As the melty feeling began to take over, and the pain floated away (or at least I didn't care about the pain anymore), I realized I needed some appropriate music for the occasion. After a couple of false starts (Franz: too peppy; Celebration: too scary), I came upon the latest long-player from UK's Broadcast, entitled Tender Buttons. Now this was more like it! I closed my eyes and the pulsating analog synths and metronome percussion were playing with my drug-addled mind, creating mental patterns and abstract mini-movies.

The voice of Trish Keenan seemed like the single most gorgeous, soothing force on Earth. I kept tripping on where I had heard that voice before, and the closest I could come was Karen Carpenter. Except it's more like an automated, valium-soaked Karen Carpenter from the year 2715. Keenan is never more detatched sounding as on today's MP3 pick "Corporeal" on which she frostily coos "Do that to my anatomy." It's like a come-on from a undersexed stainless steel she-robot. The endlessly catchy music is minimal and analog, yet totally experimental and hypnotic, and is original enough to finally shake off those ill-advised Stereolab comparisons.

After the last note of the album faded out and away, I opened my eyes, still feeling quite high, but exhausted, as if I had just returned from a long trip to an exotic foreign land or other planet. Fantastic! Tender Buttons is an album that is strongly recommended for use with psychoactive prescription painkillers.